Just as the fight over e-cigarette regulation has reached a
boil, the U.S. Center for Disease Control had to go and publish a national
survey, which shows that experimentation with e-cigs among middle school- and
high school-age children more than doubled from 2011 to 2012.
The percentage of kids grades 6-12 who have ever used an
e-cigarette jumped from 3.3 percent in 2011 to 6.8 percent last year, according
to the CDC. That equates to about 1.78 million students who have at least tried
vaping (what using an e-cig is called). Those students who have used e-cigs
within 30 days prior to the survey increased from 1.1 percent to 2.1 percent
overall. Middle schoolers who use e-cigs swelled from 0.6 percent to 1.1
percent, and the number of high school vapers rose to 10 percent, from 4.7
percent the year before.
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| Electronic Cigarettes for Sale |
What the CDC study means, in political terms, is that people
in power, like New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, now have evidence to back
up claims that e-cigs are a nefarious ploy to get kids hooked on nicotine.
For adult vapers, all this means is that children are going
to once again ruin something awesome.
E-cigarettes, for those of you who don’t yet know, are
electronic devices that perfectly replace cigarettes. Packed with a heating
mechanism, e-cigs turn a liquid, which often but not always includes nicotine,
into an inhalable vapor, mimicking the feel of smoking without the tar-ridden
smoke. Countless people have used them to quit tobacco cigarettes, and just as
many swear that using e-cigs makes them feel far healthier. Some even say their
doctors recommend them, when other quitting techniques, like drugs or nicotine
patches and gum, fail.
Critics say there is not yet enough science to conclude
whether e-cigs are safer than “analog” cigarettes – and that’s perhaps true.
The relatively few studies that exist are all over the place, though a growing
consensus begins to paint a positive picture for vaping (pdf). E-cigarettes may
in fact cause a whole garden of ailments to sprout up inside users, or not.
Moreover, critics say the variety of delicious-sounding e-liquid flavors –
there are thousands of them – will entice kids to start vaping – or, probably
worse, smoking. It was for this same reason that fruity flavored tobacco
cigarettes were banned in 2009.
If the anti-vaping crowd gets its way, e-liquid and
pre-loaded e-cigs will no longer be available in a variety of fantastic flavors;
only “tobacco” flavors will be allowed. Worse, the U.S. Food and Drug
Administration, which plans to regulate e-cigarettes sometime soon, may ban the
sale of e-cigs online, where the majority of vaping aficionados get their gear.
In short, the glory days of e-cigs will be over, regardless
of whether they are actually bad for us, regardless of whether tight
regulations will cause more people to stick with dangerous tobacco cigarettes.
It’s a frustrating time to be a vaper – and, apparently, it’s all because of
you dastardly kids.
So, kids, let me just say a few things to steer you away
from a life of vaping, before you go and screw over everyone else. First,
vaping is not cool. I mean, have you seen these things? They make you look like
a crazy person who’s sucking on a robotic butt plug. (You don’t know what butt
plugs are? Okay,
well, let’s just say you wouldn’t want to put one in your
mouth.) Second, adults don’t vape because they just feel like it; they vape
because they’re idiots who started smoking and can’t figure out any other way
to boot the nicotine monkey off their backs. Vaping is only great if you’re a
former smoker. If you aren’t addicted to nicotine, there is absolutely no
reason to vape. Finally, if I see any of you youngsters vaping, I’m going to
steal your e-cigarette and throw it in a garbage disposal. So watch out.
And if none of that convinces you to not use e-cigs, the
very least you can do is, when the CDC calls asking about your habits, lie to
them. Tell them, “Nope, I don’t even know what that e-thingamajig is you’re
talking about, mister. Have a good day.” Then hang up the phone. Please, just
do that for us.
As for you politicians and regulators, may I suggest this:
Make it illegal to sell e-cigs to minors everywhere and call it a day. Zero
adult vapers want kids getting hooked on e-cigarettes. But a whole lot of us
like e-liquid flavors other than tobacco (which, by the way, never actually
tastes anything like real tobacco), and taking that away from us for any reason
is unjust and unfair here in the so-called Land of the Free. And the whole
banning online sales thing, well, screw that – tax the suckers if you must, but
don’t kill all the start-up businesses in the U.S., which have grown out of the
world of e-cigs, with debilitating regulation.
At the end of the day, regardless of what rules are in
place, kids will do all sorts of stupid crap – that’s what kids do. I did. You
did. Everybody did. Making e-cigarettes more taboo through new laws may even
increase the number of teens who want to jump on the vaping bandwagon, thanks
to their lovable obstinate spirits.
Kids will be kids, after all. Let’s not let that incurable
fact make it worse to be an adult.
Article Credit: http://www.digitaltrends.com
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